D.N.A. PATERNITY TEST

"When you are lied to, your mind goes all over the map, trying to find the truth", spoken by Mary Tillman, mother of Army Ranger and former Arizona Cardinal, Pat Tillman.

September 1991 - My last visit with Kent... during "Supervised visitation" in the city park, Milaca, Minnesota. I was never to hold him again.

 In his innocence...Kent had no way to know how I was feeling that day as I kissed him good bye.

One of the confined visits in the little room of the courthouse basement would be the root of some profound influences for a change ...which would significantly alter Nancy's scheme.

Toward the end of one of the 1991 "supervised visits"...I was sitting on the floor "Indian Style"...in order to be closer to Kent. We had been playing...and the end of the visit was drawing near. I held him to my chest and hugged him as I whispered into his ear, "I Love you...You are going to know how much your Daddy loves you. I do not know what they are doing...but I will never turn my back on you. Daddy loves you very much".

A moment later...the young woman in the room who was present stated in a loud voice, "SPEAK UP A LITTLE LOUDER...I NEED TO HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING TO HIM".

I find it difficult to express how I felt when I heard that comment. Contained anger with no release... drove me to immediately proceed to my attorney's office. I walked into Mike William's office without being announced. I leaned over his desk and tried to convey the anger in me over what had just happened in the courthouse.

I told Mike William's..."We are getting a D.N.A. test...I don't know if you do not know how to get one...or whatever the problems is...but WE ARE GOING TO GET A D.N.A. BLOOD TEST. He remarked..."It will cost money"...to which I responded, "I'll pay for it then".

By the end of the week, Mike Williams sent Nancy's attorney a letter seeking her "voluntary participation" in a paternity test..."to forever establish the true paternity of William Kendall Waters". The letter concluded that if she would not voluntarily cooperate...we would seek a court order.

Early the following week I received Nancy's response through her attorney. It stated, "If you will not pursue this test, I will allow you to withdraw your paternal rights...and you won't owe me any child support".

What made this statement "attention getting" was the fact that Nancy had made a SWORN, NOTARIZED statement in late January as part of the "Initial Petition to Seek Relief"...that there was in fact a child born of this marriage named William Kendall Waters. At the time we had made nothing more than a verbal agreement on the amount of child support...but in the previous 9 months, I had paid her more than $1000. per month in support and aid in paying bills.

If I had not made this challenge, I would have been paying her very close to $1000. a month...every month until Kent graduated from college...at which time I would be 72 YEARS OLD. The accrued amount would have then exceeded over a QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS.

It was glaringly obvious by Nancy's response that I had obviously "stumbled on to something". Mike Williams commented..."It looks like you are on to something". He seemed to suggest that it would then be OK just to withdraw my child support payments...and file the appropriate motions in court.

I responded with..."You must understand...This is my son! If he is my son...I will not turn my back on him. I do not want to be 80 years old and feel like I had turned my back on my son! ...We are going through with the D.N.A. test."

There was no established procedure for a man to seek the D.N.A. test. Apparently Mike Williams could find no precedent or guidelines for a male to seek the performance of the test. For this reason...the initial request apparently had to be made through the "mothers attorney"...even though I paid for it. Note the actual report is addressed to Tom Meinze...with only a "copy to" Mike Williams.

Furthermore...once I arrived at the War Memorial Blood Center in Minneapolis...I was forced to sign papers as though I had raped Nancy or was denying the responsibility. I was told "we never had anyone like you in before".

My blood samples were drawn at the War Memorial Blood Center on October 16, 1989. Nancy and Kent's tests were conducted the following day.

On Friday, October 25th, 1991, I was arrested and handcuffed at work...taken to the Mille Lacs County Jail...and charged with 2nd Degree Sexual Assault of Sandra Lynn Thompson (Nancy's daughter). The charges did not state either where or when the alleged event took place.

A few minutes after I was arrested, two supervisors and a journeymen...all of whom knew Nancy personally...witnessed Lorna Kinney and Nancy drive up alongside my truck, no more that 25 feet away...go through and rifle several items in my truck and remove a couple of small objects. One of these was my Prosac prescription...the other was a green Tupperware container with my grandmother's 1 carat, mine cut diamond in it...valued at around $5000. I had hidden it in truck because I had no idea were else I could keep it. Believing it to be safely hidden...I did not discover it missing until three months later.

I later filed charges against Nancy for the theft with the Sherburne County Sheriff's Office. The "investigation" consisted of..."I called Nancy and asked her if she took it...and she says she did not".

Nancy stated that the reason she went into the truck was because she knew my prescription was there...and wanted to make sure I had it available at the jail. FACT: We had not seen each other for several weeks...and Nancy had no idea that the Prosac happened to be laying in the front seat of the truck.

What is more...the jailer refused to let me take the medication she brought...under suspicion it might have been tampered with. They ended up getting another prescription filled in a Milaca drug store.

The following Monday, MY BIRTHDAY...I was formally charged for 2nd degree sexual assault...and placed on $50,000. bond...because I was a "danger to society". 

The bail was reduced to $10,000...and I obtained a release from jail, on Thursday, October 31, 1991...Halloween and a day many other people in Minnesota won't forget either...the day of the famous 30 inch snow storm.

The D.N.A. paternity test was not concluded by DR Polesky of the Memorial Blood Center of Minneapolis until the following Monday.

On Friday, November 8, 1991, I received my "informational copy" of the D.N.A. test from my attorney, Mike Williams. He hand delivered it to me in the privacy of his office. I opened the envelope and read it as I stood before him. Mike then commented, "I guess you got what you wanted, huh?"

There are some circumstances in life where your mind is filled with so many fleeting thoughts...it's impossible to know which one should be the next to be verbally expressed. This was one of those moments.

I could only respond to Mike Williams with..."You don't understand do you? Kent is my son!"

I left Mike Williams office that afternoon in near tears.

By the time I was no more than two miles from town, I had to stop my truck on the side of the road. I was blinded by the trauma and the tears to the point where I realized I was a danger to anyone else who might be driving. I cried in devastation...then I began to scream..."DADDY LOVES KENT...DADDY LOVES KENT...DADDY LOVES KENT". After a period of time...I fell asleep from the effect of the exhaustive emotion. I began to drive in the direction of Shirley's farm near Forest Lake. I somehow wanted the expanse and solitude of the location.

As I continued to Shirley's...I periodically lapsed into moments of near uncontrolled crying...but I continued to drive.

When I got to Shirley's, I got out of my truck and started walking into the woods. It was well after dark. Somehow the immense feeling of thousands of acres of trees combined with the darkness...and my sense of being all alone...allowed me the ability to capture my anger and scream. "NANCY...WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHY DID YOU DO IT?

A moment later, I found myself silently praying for God to help her...and to convey my love and forgiveness...for there seemed nothing else I could do. Over and over I thought of how much I had loved Nancy...and I was filled with the thought that apparently...for some reason..she either would not...or could not allow herself to feel it.

In another moment...I tried turning to the northwest...somehow sensing as though I could project my feelings toward Kent...somehow hoping in the value of prayer...hoping that God...this time could step in and intervene in my devastation. I began crying again...still facing the northwest...saying, "I love you Kent. I Love you Kent". I was filled with a need to forgive Nancy...and at once it seemed the situation had become so complicated as to defy understanding.

I spent the weekend at Shirley's. I just wanted to be alone. I took a long walk through the woods again on Saturday morning. It now seemed like a different place...and a distant time from only yesterday.

The darkness on Saturday night began to take on a different meaning. I tried to fight off the feelings that things were changing..

I began to think about how Nancy must be feeling. I cried for her pain as I was perceiving it to be. I quietly thought, "You can not lie anymore. You can not disallow what you have done. You have been caught. Now you will have to "come out and face reality". I also wanted to believe that she did feel badly...and that it did, in fact, matter to her.

I waited for Nancy to call me all of that weekend. I still believed in her...I believed in a good side of Nancy that many people may not understand by this time.

I can not tell you of the times I have been near overwhelmed with emotions.

I have no way to reveal the faith I have tried to hold within me.

Yes...as the reader can tell...there have been times when I am angry...but there are simply times when there are no other emotions to feel... This is one more toll of adultery...one more reason to conclude is equates with many crimes in it's wrongness...

I have prayed more in the last few years that I would have ever thought I would be a candidate to pray. Sometimes in my frustration...I begin to loose belief in the power of prayer.

I have "weighed" the subject of grace...for how awesome a thing it is for a human being to be able to grant. I have sometimes thought that perhaps grace is something only the Lord can truly grant...in the Biblical sense intended. I can not hear the words of "Amazing Grace"...without reflecting on this traumatic period of my life...

It's difficult to explain how the whole if this issue has become so important to me. Perhaps in reality it is no single issue at all...but a culmination of many things and feelings that singularly are less evident.

Sometimes I wonder if "the Nancy" I allowed myself to fall in love with ever really existed. I occasionally will lapse into a moment of believing that it was all a farce...a lie...just one more of man's many manipulative schemes against man. The idea eats at the very root of my soul. For if were not real...than it is suggestive that many things in life which we value...are nothing more than fancy whims...as illusive as gossamers floating across a blue sky.

There is not single moment, occasion, nor evening in my lifetime, which surpassed the intensity of personal devastation I experienced on the day I received the results of the D.N.A. paternity test. It was not just about "the moment of truth", but far, far more. It was about the loss of a son I loved and cherished beyond what I am aptly able to share my feelings... it was not about being "betrayed", as much as it was the sense of loss of someone I had let be the most trusted, the most caring... and the most "believed in" best friend I not only had ever known... but deeply believed, that, I could have ever known. Simply put, I was "crazy" about Nancy... and having been said, it was as though the moment had brought to me, all that "craziness" can represent. I repeatedly remembered that evening, walking deep into the woods of the 37,000 acres game preserve surrounding my friend's farm... screaming over and over again..."WHY... WHY... WHY NANCY... WHY?"   "WHY... WHY... WHY NANCY... WHY?"

A part of myself is not comfortable thinking that such a thing as to possible. I allow myself to take solace in the memories of the love I believe I once truly shared with someone...

It's difficult to fathom how two people who were once so close... were ever able to lose such an intense feelings.

It's easy to grow to hate adultery...

It's moreover, easier to hate what happened to Nancy in her childhood... and hate her "sociopathic" personality disorder that resulted. It's through the same realization, that I am unable to "hate" Nancy. It makes it no less difficult to "deal" with the realization that her disorder allows her to feel no sense of responsibility... and no sense of remorse for what she has done to me, to several others, to her family... and most especially to Kent.

Nancy illness allows her to go on with her life... and almost mystically live as though there is absolutely no "negative" aspect about her past life. This same aspect of her personality disorder is what makes her so dangerous to others she may encounter... as well as why others are at risk, as she continues to play out a "role" of healer and caretaker, in the world of medicine.

Remember please, that I would not have been able to summon these words to write, were it not about the way I so deeply cared about Nancy...

I have days when a part of me wishes she could find the strength to call...

Now...with over fifteen years of "believing"...

The call has never come.

The more time passes, the more I have to realize... and reckon with the intensity of the "grip" of her sociopathic illness.

The below document is a scanned copy of the actual D.N.A. report as I received it.

Thomas J. Meinze, the Princeton, Minnesota attorney to whom the above letter was written.

 MORE  --- Kent's Story  ---   Espionage  --- Who is the Father?  ---  What I Believe

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